Dr. Oz Admits: "Chocolate Power" Toothpaste Really Just Chocolate

Dr. Oz, the popular TV surgeon, admits that his Chocolate Power Toothpaste really wasn't that effective. Read about his excuse for it and the easy solution he offers.

Dr. Oz, the famous cardiothoracic surgeon turned TV doctor, who recently amazed America with his latest book “Lose Tons of Weight By Driving Like Crazy”, is now in a less-than-positive spotlight for promotion of a dental hygiene product in 2015.

In an episode last June, Dr. Oz launched his new Chocolate Power Toothpaste product line, claiming that he had discovered the “natural healing and cleansing powers of chocolate”. In the episode, which became the best-viewed of the show, Dr. Oz introduced flavors such as “Chopped Hazelnut Floss”, “White Chocolate Brightener”, and “Creamy Milk Polish”. Under the slogan “The Toothpaste You’re Gonna Love”, the products became instant bestsellers at drugstores and supermarkets, replacing many shelves with chocolate products.

However, users of the Chocolate Power Toothpaste are now threatening Dr. Oz with a class-action lawsuit, claiming that the sweet toothpaste is causing many cavities, fast weight gain, cacao-breath, and brownish teeth. “It’s just crazy. People keep using more and more but it’s like it only makes things worse”, summarized spokeswoman Shanice Oswald the complaints.

Dr. Oz responded in a special episode of his show, blaming a “misunderstanding” with the Indian factory that produced the toothpaste. “You should now, that guy had a pretty heavy accent. I told him to put in fluoride, really”, he defended himself to the booing crowd.

The doctor immediately revealed a solution for those affected. “Don’t worry folks! All you need to do is switch to my Original Dr. Oz Zero-Sugar Toothpaste. 40% off, just today!”, he ended the episode. He could not be reached for comments, while being chased out of Cleveland by protesters.

« Previous crap

Pope Francis Shakes Up Catholic World With Modern Version of Ten Commandments

Pope Francis, the refreshing leader of the Catholic Church, is making waves with a updated version of the Ten Commandments, adjusted to modern times.

Next hogwash »

Trump Physician Apologizes For Prescribing Wrong Drugs, And Other News Last Week

Trump's physician apologizes for prescribing wrong drugs, and other news last week, in 10 convenient headlines.

Recent baloney

Pornstar Candidate Breaks Up Presidential Race, Trump Drops Out

With the Iowa caucus in sight, the presidential race has been shaken up by a new and hugely popular pornstar candidate, causing frontrunner Donald Trump to drop out.

Read The Signs: Why The Fed Is About To Increase The Interest Rate Big Time

The Federal Reserve has only recently increased its interest rates after 7 years of near-zero rates, but all signs point to Janet Yellen intending to double or triple the rate, experts say.

Glassdoor Report: Top 5 Most Depressing Places to Work in 2016

Glassdoor, provider of some 8 million company reviews, just published a very interesting report "naming and shaming" the 5 most horrible places to be working in 2016.

Random silliness

Warren Buffett: The 5 Stock Analysts You Should Absolutely Ignore in 2016

Master investor Warren Buffett provides his yearly guidance on stock analysts, but this time it's about which analysts' advice should definitely be discarded in 2016.

Militant Evangelicals Threaten: Last Christmas For Anyone Playing Wham's Last Christmas Or A Cover

Militant evangelical Christians, frustrated by the constant airplay of Wham!'s "sinful" Last Christmas , have taken dramatic steps to ban the "satanic" song.

FEC: Super PACs No Longer Allowed To Make Movies About Presidential Candidates

After the recent release of promotional movies for several presidential candidates, the Federal Election Commission is now outlawing production of such movies.